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Facade Slip

Posted by socio_cynic on 2010.10.22 at 21:02
How do you "feel": aggravatedaggravated

 Revenge is a funny thing. Some say it's a vile, wretched thing and others say it's sweeter than any fruit. I tend to agree with the latter. I suppose one way to define sociopathy is to imagine that wonderful feeling of vengeance except- the person never did anything to you in the first place. Can you picture it?

I don't know why I take so much enjoyment out of the suffering of others. My best deduction is simply- they annoy me. Human beings are more filthy and repugnant than the soggiest rat and more shifty than a cockroach. You bastards can't be trusted. I honestly don't understand the fear toward sociopaths. All we do is play your game better, smarter, and more efficiently than you do. If you didn't lie, connive, deceive and manipulate we wouldn't either. It's like teaching your dog to shit on the rug then beating him for it. Naughty naughty empaths.

The other day a friend of mine said to me, "I don't know why, but I kinda feel like I should be afraid of you." That my friends, is me not doing my job correctly. I mean sure, I have always occasionally come across people who were too intuitive for their own good- but recently I've obviously been slipping, because this hasn't been the only time this year people have questioned my sincerity. Not good.

The interesting thing is none of these times has been when I was in a particularly threatening mood. In fact- both times I was joking around about something. Perhaps I have an evil cackle. That's always a dead give away. Damned empaths and their fairytales- makes them too knowledgeable about villains apparently.

Anyway, what this tells me is my heavy workload is effecting my camouflage. I mean, it's not like I chose a very complex character as my main facade anyway. I chose a very easy to pull off- angry, not-so-nice acting but nice-in-a-way character to portray to peers, and I apparently can't even pull that off. Once again, not good.

Maybe I should switch it up- keep things interesting. I've had to many times before. What will I be this time? Prep, devout christian, geek, nerd, human by day-vampire by night schizoid? The possibilities are endless. I think I'll stick with what I am now. It is after all, the closest to my true personality- that makes it easier. And in case you didn't know, easier is always better.


“It turns out that an eerie type of chaos can lurk just behind a facade of order - and yet, deep inside the chaos lurks an even eerier type of order” Douglas Hostadter

Comments:


I'm a Space Rockstar
scaramantula at 2010-10-23 04:47 (UTC) (Link)
Always mix a little bit of truth into the lie, so they say.

Probably not the laugh. Probably the eyes. Tricksy.
poet!c!njust!ce
lifeis4foolz at 2010-10-23 20:15 (UTC) (Link)

Eyes...

I don't see how anyone could determine anything by looking into someone's eyes. It seems ridiculous. "Eyes are the gateway to the soul." I don't have a soul. Do my eyes lead to a flashing Dead End Sign in the sky, is that it?

Why can They use this eye-contact sorcery and I cannot? When I look into someone's eyes I see myself upside down and while that can be liberally distracting it gives no insight into their deeper inner rumblings. I dismantle people through careful observation of actions, mannerisms, thought patterns, beliefs, I admit I can read what kind of person I'm playing with almost instantly but never have I found any of this through some magical portal into their being. Never. Just careful, meticulous observation. Perhaps I should learn how?
I'm a Space Rockstar
scaramantula at 2010-10-23 20:50 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Eyes...

There are certain physical cues given with the lids and nearby skin that cue the other person to your expression even more than overt cues (such as smiling). For example, and I had to make a concerted effort to learn this because I always neglected it before, but people determine a "true" smile or laugh by your eyes more than your mouth or vocalizations. Simply put, your eyes should be a bit "crinkled" at the edges if it's "true." A little expression in the brow helps too.

The orb its self is useless unless you're watching for the iris' dilations and contractions. But yeah, when people talk about seeing things in people's eyes, they're unknowingly referring to subtle physical cues.
poet!c!njust!ce
lifeis4foolz at 2010-10-24 01:31 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Eyes...

Thank you! THAT is the kind of response I'm looking for, I have no basis for empath superstition, they explain things through expressed feelings and while I admit I am not completely made of stone my emotions are very base level. Sometimes I feel (no pun) like a kindergartner among nobel prize winning empaths.

Interesting, I know I personally have a fascination with pupils and use them to gauge the reactions of humans as I try out various acts but I never considered my eyes, personally. Recently as I've been practicing smiling at myself in the mirror I felt something was off, and that that must be the problem but I think I was too focused on the lower part of the face. I'll work on 'crinkling' and see if that helps.
I'm a Space Rockstar
scaramantula at 2010-10-24 03:50 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Eyes...

No problem. It's one of those weird-ass things I never really thought about until it was pointed out to me either.
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