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The Monotony of Life

Posted by lifeis4foolz on 2010.06.27 at 15:50
 Every day has its own individual challenges. For some people those challenges may involve doing good in school, getting promoted at work or even just simply putting food on the table. For me it's keeping those around me from knowing the truth. I don't care about anything. Every other word that comes out of my mouth is a lie, my 'feelings' my likes and dislikes. All of it is bullshit. I'm smart, funny, outgoing. I have many friends, my family is proud of the person I am becoming. And it's all crap. Every day I get up and pretend to be someone I'm not, and I know there are thousands of people out there (I know I'm under-exaggerating) who do it too. Hell, even Empaths (non-sociopaths) lie about who they are, but to a much smaller extent. Sometimes I can look someone in the eye, and know for a fact they're just like me. I can watch them sit there and spew out, verbatim, exactly what they think a normal person would say. And it's perfect too, just the right combination of frivolous emotion with a dash of that charming lack of self esteem Empaths always possess. But somehow there's just this.. disconnect. Like, a gaydar for the Unemotional, perish the thought. Sociodar... Psychodar... Emtpinessdar? Something foolish sounding like that.

But anyways, that's all for me today, I have to go pretend to cry about a family member dying. That's not to say I'm not.. upset-- in my own way. My way of 'grieving' is just much more shallow and short-lived, that's all. I don't really understand the emotion that surrounds these sorts of things; People die and it's like all the sudden family members who disowned and refused to talk to them for the past 10 years are all the sudden devastated at the loss. Why pretend? It's as if NOT showing some sort of sadness isn't socially acceptable, whether you 'feel' it or not. I'll never understand the way humans interact.
it's so... sloppy. 

So it begins...

Posted by lifeis4foolz on 2010.06.26 at 21:27
How do you "feel": Nothing
 The definition of Sociopathy is  'a personality disorder characterized by an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct, masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal.'

Some characteristics we share include;

Glibness/Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning
Grandiose Sense of Self
Pathological Lying
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
Shallow Emotions
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Callousness/Lack of Empathy


I don't see anything wrong with anything on this list. In fact, I believe over half of our country voted for a man with just these traits. I also don't consider my identity to be some kind of 'disorder' to be poked and prodded at like some sort of mental retardation.

It is estimated sociopaths make up about 4% of the general population. But contrary to popular belief we are not all the same. Those of us who receive the most publicity are our Psychopathic counterparts; your Bundys and your Dahmers, but the truth is these people represent the farther extremes of sociopathy. Four percent is an estimate, a very low estimate based on the idiots you see behind bars. The majority of us are more deeply hidden. Your next door neighbor, your kid's kindergarten teacher, your boss, your co-worker. Your friend. We are everywhere. Everything in our world is a lie, but not here. Here you can be yourself, no more pretending (as fun as that may be). No need for crocodile tears or false comforts. Share your stories, your conquests and your dislikes.

Some of us have nothing better to do than listen.

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